A Quest II
For all the letters crossing the seas and beyond

Ich bin NIX hier

Shortly after my arrival
My visa expired
My passport got _ _ _





NO ID No rights
T’es sans papier
T’as qu’à crever

Ich bin NIX hier

Some people think I am L
Other know me as M
Sometimes I wish I were N
Ich bin NIX hier

Deep inside i know who i am and where i come from but i simply cannot go back there you see

When I talk to my friends over there
They tell me not to come back
It would just be crazy
After all I’ve done to be free!

In my beautiful country – the one shown in guidebooks –
with this landscape I secretly daydream of
I am not respected
I’m just another piece
Of non-humanness

I toil and boil from early in the morning until very dark in the night
no insurance no social security
just a ridiculous hourly wage
And if I happen to not smile during my shift
My boss kicks me out without notice

Reason: I didn’t make his friends happy _ _ _

In my beautiful country – where the stones and the land glisten in the sun
I am whistled at, yelled at
Nothing i can do but shut the fuck up
and endure

endure the sleazy faces
endure the situation
endure constant war threat
endure corruption as a fact
corruption everywhere
even at uni or the embassy
when visas and passports are delivered against a good heap of dollars
and sold at a five digit number

it’s not like
one bombing you hear of on the radio and then you live in terror forever

it’s one retaliation raid after the other

it’s constant chaos at the border
and in the centennial forests

it smells of tear gas
bullet powder
and death

all around you
all around me

so for my survival
whatever the price
whatever the risks
I fled

I will spare you the travelling
from A to B
from B to C
from C to another dirty squalid camp for refugees

I will spare you the dull face of officials each time i go and check if – by any chance – I can get a valid working visa
– No Miz M, you are not on our list this time
– No Miz L, I cannot do anything for you. I have no proof of your identity, verstehnZE?

Provide evidence of your existence!
Between L M N O P
I sometimes wonder if i am not fake

No ID No rights
T’es sans papier
T’as qu’à crever
Ich bin NIX hier

But you know what?
If i gave them my name, they would fly me straight back to my “country of origin”

So i duck my head
And here as well
I toil and boil

cleaning the shit of people who have ID card and credit cards and no identity issue
They know where they belong to
They know where they will go and chill out next weekend
where they will have their luxurious holiday

They are free to move as they please
Even their cat is registered as an existing being

So when i go to bed
In that social home paid by the state
I do not sleep and cannot stop the images of the past go by
I can hear my neighbours fart, belch and shout at each other
They do not need to work
Their booze is paid by the state

Under the blanket
I cannnnot close my eyes
Coz i’m just too scared

When will they come?
When will they bang at the door and tell me to pack at once
Just one bag and I am hustled back to where I am “from”

But i do not want to leave
I am HERE right now
I am from here now

And you know what?

This place gave me a sense of belonging
of freedom and happiness
this _ my country never gave me before

So i’d rather be nothing here
than not being able to be who I am
over there

o v e r t h e r e

o v e r t h e r e